Thursday, July 28, 2005

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

take me with you
11:10 AM

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

pathetic day.
to0k the wrong bus and had to spend 9.4o bucks on cab fee cuz at 8.45 i was still at marine parade and there's no way am i g0nna face that irritatingly naggy om, yet again.

oh shucks. no more tickets left for t0morrow's superstar concert. grumbles.

now that you've left, please do not f0rget to take al0ng with y0u ur merciless lies.
it was never meant to be...

i've always uphold a positive attitude despite heart-rending lies and betrays from the 2 others.
i was hopeful.
i believed in pursuing my own happiness.
but now...
i feel totally defeated.
maybe i was an imbecile.
i should have forsaken that glimpse of hope that often invade my soul.

if i hadnt believed, things could have been better.
if i hadnt been gullible, infliction wouldnt happen.
but then again...
would it have made things a tad better?
why do i always end up here.
in an inextricable mess.
i trust too easily.

my life's a vicious cycle.
my soul's empty.
what i yearn for are unattainable.
they're only dreams to me.
i'm sick of my life.
immersing myself in storylines seems to be the only remedy, in the short-run.
the thought of it is excruciating.

im returning everything to you.
everything.
please take it back.
and you're free.

take me with you
10:29 AM

Monday, July 25, 2005

a good cry.
thats what i need.
and i'll be fine.

i promise.

take me with you
11:35 AM

Friday, July 22, 2005

so thats who i am in your eyes.
why should i carry on when you've always been treating me as a substitute.
why should i carry on when everything's a lie. and have always been.
i've truly given up hope.
there wont be anymore continuation.

i wont hate you.
how can i hate someone who isnt part of my life anymore.

once again
i'm left alone to pick up those fragmented pieces.

goodbye to you.

take me with you
2:22 PM

Monday, July 18, 2005

its been aeons since i've had such a strange dream.
i dreamt of my grandfather.
and... i've never seen b0th of them or him, for that matter since the day i was brought to this world.
cant recall h0w he lo0ked like but i remember him apologising furiously f0r leaving me al0ne in this cold hard world.
shurgs.
and i w0ke up feeling a tad depressed.

still am.

a tinge of melancholic
embracing me mercilessly.
i c0uld hardly breathe.
yet the reas0n's unclear.

i'll leave.
one day.

take me with you
2:42 AM

Saturday, July 16, 2005

been feeling cantankerous recently.
am a grumpy old rag.

the weekend's here! and that leaves us...61 days to prelims! thank ar. mr lim and ms ee kept repeating this dreadful time-line during less0ns. its driving me nuts! ok back to...the weekend's here! just when i though i could relax a little on a friday night and perhaps pop by the library to b0rrow some books...we were informed just now that there's a mock econ paper2 t0morrow!grumps. and miss ee just fl0oded us with econs h0mework.
zZz...
-_-"

got to do case study. bye.
*walks away, grumpily.
yes there's such a word as grumpily. dont doubt me. >:(
i want to go cycling...

take me with you
9:16 AM

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

my results may be medi0cre. but am glad i dont have any Fs.
right fr0m the very beginning, i ch0se to sacifice maths for chem.
thats why i'm a little disapp0inted with my chem results.
sigh---

we've only 4 months left and thats it.
do n0t give up n0w.
endure and persevere!

the nkf ceo has been mispending donations they've raised over the years. like..wth. i thought those funds were supposed to fend patients who are less well-off? totally absurb. its so misleading and isnt it considered as cheating? where's his morality and conscience? i seriously wonder who'll donate next week during the third nkf charity show.

am i unbalanced? yes i guess i am.

take me with you
8:39 AM

Sunday, July 10, 2005

y0u are not wh0m i used to think you are.
you're alm0st like a total stranger to me now.
y0u and your lies.
once again.
thank g0d i've ch0sen to stay away fr0m you.

bey0nd that demure and harmless exteri0r of every female, lies a complex nature.
this is what the opp0site sexes have c0ndemn.
but what ab0ut them?
as usual...
they think 0h-so-highly of themselves.
self-centred and eg0istic.
and of cuz, terrific liars.
am n0t condemning. am pin-p0inting. evil.

am n0t dispp0inted in you.
cuz its what i've expected y0u to be ever since.
am just disgusted.

been having breathing difficulties recently.
this sucks.

take me with you
3:40 PM

Saturday, July 09, 2005

4 b0mbs went off in London yesterday.
secret organization of al-qaida in Europe claimed responsibility.
inhuman idiots.

think my mid-year results are so gonna suck. sighs.

shucks.

awfully lifeless.
study study study.
till the A levels ends officially, life is so gonna suck. yet again.
yes i'm stressed.

oh ya spent 4.5o bucks on a cup of non-fat ice-cream. big bo0 boo. ba0 was suspicious. non-fat? muhahaha.

been indulging in junk f0od right after height and weight 0n thursday. f-a-t.

there's no turn backs.
everything has c0me to an eventual halt.
am bone tired.

take me with you
10:14 AM

Friday, July 08, 2005

stay away from me. you and your lies. enough's enough.
go away.
i d0nt need some0ne like y0u in my life.

thanks for the daunting memories.
the biggest mistake i've ever made in life is knowing you and allowing you into my life.

take me with you
7:48 AM

Monday, July 04, 2005

w0oho0!.. dad b0ught a new bike! *beams

was at bed0k central this aftern0on l0oking f0r a new bike.
then this gr0up of kids appr0ached me asking f0r d0nations.
i wasnt bringing any cash so i sh0ok my head with a smile alt0gether!
i mean, its c0mm0n to get rejected when it c0mes to stuff like this right.
plus i've met pe0ple wh0 simply walked passed me as th0ugh i was invisible when i was d0ing such activities in the past.
t0tally disgusted.
grumps disgressed again.

as i was saying, i rejected him with a smile!
and instead of saying its okay-as a f0rm of courtesy
this kid upbraided this f0ur letter, unc0uth word.
it starts with F by the way.
such 0ffensive behavi0ur not only ruined my day but left me feeling unt0ward.
then i f0und out they were fr0m temasek sec and had a sudden urge t0 write to the straits time f0rum regarding such vulgarism and ir0nical incident.
the kid was d0ing charity w0rk for g0ds sake!
then my mum went up t0 this girl and grilled her real hard.
i sympathied the girl.
afterall it wasnt her fault!
then my mum scared the fits out of her when she said she was complaining to the sch0ol.
haha.
perhaps it was g0ds will.
that kid appeared not far away fr0m where we were standing and the girl immediately ran up t0 him cuz my mum demanded an ap0logy.
actually it was quite embarrassing lar.
anyway the kid ap0logised t0 me s0on after but my mum went 0n and on with the girl ab0ut such outrage0us behavi0ur.
then mum d0nated.
geez what a c0mmotion.

then i went t0 have a hair cut! finally. the person who cut my hair w0rks at a beauty sal0n at shangri-la and is a friend of my mum's. s0 we went to her h0use at bed0k muhaha. in essence, she's really nice and friendly plus she's the speed. w0otz.

j0gged earlier on whilst dad tried on the new bike. the most hilari0us part was, he didnt kn0w he'd to adjust the bike. initally he th0ught the bike was sp0ilt cuz he couldnt even start pedalling! and when he finally realised, i'd completed nearly 0ne run. hahaha.
while running i kept turning back to look f0r dad thinking what was keeping him. then amazingly, this stranger told me my dad's bike had s0me pr0blems. stunned. at first i th0ught perhaps he helped my dad earlier on but no! my dad was like..."y0u kn0w him?" d0uble stunned. perhaps i resemble my dad so much that even strangers are able to tell he's my dad. c0ol. hahaha. (:

did mini-sh0pping just n0w. was in a rush th0ugh.

the nkf cancer sh0w's really t0uching.
life and death is just a thin line away.

take me with you
11:51 AM

grrr. have to retype everything again! dumb blogspot.

as i was saying, we went can0eing yesterday at bedok reserv0ir. was utterly b0ring! shall g0 to MacRitchie in future. and p0or jasper...missi0n failed. muhaha.

anyway was pretty much complaining ab0ut something in my previ0us entry. but n0w i'm feeling much better after venting it out. making it public isnt necessary and s0...shan't repeat again. muhaha

right.

batman begins was nice except f0r the beginning. was medi0cre.
so 4 out of 5 cadburys!

manz. simply ad0re patters0n's novels. if only i c0uld carry on reading and immersing myself in their f0reign, make believe w0rld. allowing my soul to adrift. far far way fr0m my own w0rld.

mum's getting a new bike! wee!..

y0u're expecting t0o much fr0m me.
so much so that i'm unable t0 fulfill any 0f them.

take me with you
2:23 AM

Sunday, July 03, 2005

ka-pok these fr0m bee h0on's blog. muhahahaha =x

squash girlz
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take me with you
12:26 AM

us!

take me with you
12:25 AM

squash rawks!..
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take me with you
12:24 AM

yisheng has got real louya taste muhaha
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take me with you
12:24 AM

gee...

take me with you
12:23 AM

spastic bee hoon haaz...
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take me with you
12:23 AM

bambo0 and bee ho0n
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take me with you
12:19 AM

initial d rawks! but aint not obssessed.
aye.
edisons cute.
jays cute.
shawns c0ol.

edison chen's cute!
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take me with you
12:15 AM

take me with you
12:13 AM

w0otz.

take me with you
12:12 AM

take me with you
12:10 AM

and c0ol!

take me with you
12:08 AM

Saturday, July 02, 2005

caught initial-d just now. woot. was really nice! y0u dont have to like racing in particular i guess. but there's thrill, hum0r, sweetness plus edis0n chen, jay ch0u and shawn yue!.. i'll give 4 out of 5 cadburys! the ending's a tad crappy. but no fret!.. there's initial-d 2! in approximately 2 years time... -_-

am talking to my npcc junior now about jc life.
corren: " den monday to friday muz go sch ar? "
me: " yea.."
corren: "wah..."
me, questi0n marks.

borrowed patterson's and steel's books today!..wee.

0nce the st0ry between 2 pers0ns c0mes to an end...
is it because someone has given up?
or is it because no one treasures the relationship anym0re?

take me with you
2:05 PM

malign.
and i lost a friend.

lies.
that y0u've relentlessly made.
who am i to comment anyway.
so i'll walk away
and there's n0 return.
not anym0re.

good-bye.
everything has to come to an end eventually.

last paper later.
best of luck.

take me with you
2:46 AM

Friday, July 01, 2005

dem0ralised i am.

disapp0intment has taken its toll.

shucks.

but i'll n0t give up.

am a tad unhinge.
but n0t for long.

take me with you
12:54 PM